Her Christmas Family Wish Page 14

  “But she would have understood.” Ellie pinned him with her gaze. “If Taryn were here right now, wouldn’t she encourage you to reach out to Albert, to help him however you can? Isn’t that the kind of woman your wife was, Wyatt?”

  “Yes.” He studied Ellie, suddenly thankful that she hadn’t left him in his misery, blame and unforgiveness, so glad that she’d pushed and prodded and nudged him to the truth. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes,” he murmured. “And I’ll probably make more in the future.”

  “Of course you will.” Ellie chuckled at his dour look. “Because you’re human,” she added with a wink. Her eyebrows arched. “And…?”

  “And I promise I’ll give Albert a chance.” There he was, making promises again, but somehow Wyatt thought he might be able to keep this one with God and Ellie’s help.

  He was not prepared for Ellie’s squeal of delight or for the way she launched herself into his arms. But he liked it.

  “Oh, Wyatt, I’m so glad.” Ellie’s arms tightened around his neck as she hugged him. “Albert needs our help and—” Suddenly the words stopped. She shifted, easing back from him, her cheeks flushed. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I know we’re not either of us looking for a relationship—”

  Was that true?

  His arms still around her waist, Wyatt held on and let himself bask in her sudden shyness. Holding Ellie like this—it felt right, as if she belonged there. He’d loved Taryn, but the hole her loss had left in his heart was healing now, thanks in part to Ellie’s gentle nudges into the future and to Gracie’s sturdy faith in God. And his heart—was Ellie in it?

  “Wyatt, I should—”

  “Ellie?” He cupped her silken cheek in his palm.

  “Yes?” She gazed at him.

  “Be quiet.” Then he leaned in and kissed her.

  And Ellie kissed him back.

  Chapter Eleven

  “My father would not have approved of all this Christmas fuss.”

  Ellie froze for a moment, wondering if she should offer some sort of platitude to ease the situation. She felt confused, giddy, wary and a thousand other emotions every time she was near Wyatt. Because of his kiss yesterday.

  Wonderful though it had been to be enveloped in his arms, to share that tender moment with him, nothing had been the same since.

  “Maybe your mom would’ve,” Gracie said, not even glancing up from the snowman cookie she was frosting.

  “Maybe she would have. I don’t know.” Wyatt helped Cade press another snowman out of the cookie dough, and Albert slipped it onto a baking sheet.

  “Well, arn’cha gonna look for her?” Gracie demanded. “That’s what I’d do if I lost my mommy.”

  “Smart cookie,” Wyatt said, and they all shared a laugh.

  “Wyatt has been looking, honey,” Ellie said, and for the moment, that seemed to satisfy her daughter.

  Ellie waited until Cade was asleep and she and Wyatt were having coffee on the patio while Gracie and Albert finished the cookie decorating, before she asked, “You haven’t learned anything more about your mom?”

  “The investigator says he has a lead he’s checking out. We’ll see,” he said with a shrug. “Want to order a pizza for supper?”

  “We could.” A little thrill tiptoed across her brain at the prospect of spending more time with this amazing man. “On one condition.”

  “Name it.” He grinned at her, and Ellie’s heart flew sky high.

  “That we get your Christmas tree up.” Ellie wondered at his frown. “You need to celebrate Christmas, Wyatt. I don’t think it’s too early to teach Cade about Christ’s birth.”

  “A tree, besides all the stuff you and Gracie have already added?” He nodded toward the house, to where she’d added pinecones on the table, homemade wreaths on the doors, paper cutouts on the windows. He grinned, though she saw several emotions skitter across his expressive face. Finally, he nodded. “Okay, we’ll go get a tree as soon as Cade wakes up.”

  And that was how the five of them ended up eating pizza at the mall before they loaded up on ornaments and lights.

  “Uh, do you know what excessive means?” Ellie asked as they stood in line at a checkout.

  “You mean as in wasting an inordinate amount of money on glittery geegaws that will be garbage by next year?” He nodded. “Yes, I do know what excessive means, Ellie.”

  The way he said it, in a mocking tone, told her that someone had once said those very words to him and that the memory was not a pleasant one. Ellie was guessing that person had been his father and that the teeming shopping cart in front of Wyatt was his way of exorcising the negatives of his youth.

  “Oh, good.” She grinned at him. “Albert, could you get another package of lights? One can never have too many lights.”

  Albert glanced from her to Wyatt, shrugged and left with Gracie in tow.

  “Clearly that kid knows about excessive,” Wyatt muttered. “Too bad nobody ever showered him with it.”

  “Maybe we can be the first,” Ellie said.

  “What do you mean?” Wyatt said.

  “Ever heard of Christmas gifts?”

  He groaned. “Another reason to shop?”

  “Why not, when we’re using your credit card?” Ellie couldn’t stop her giggle.

  “My father did not approve of credit cards,” he said when they were on their way to his truck with the bulging cart.

  “What did he approve of?” Ellie asked, only half serious.

  “Not much. Not me, for sure.”

  “I’m sure that’s not true. I’m sure he loved you in his own way.” Except she wasn’t sure. And now she’d begun wondering if the parenting worries she’d once heard Wyatt mention stemmed from fear that he’d somehow lose Cade’s love as he’d lost his father’s.

  “We didn’t get a tree,” Ellie suddenly realized as they left the mall.

  “We will. I know exactly the tree I want.” Wyatt leaned forward, peering through the windshield as he drove. “It used to be right along… Yeah, here it is.” He turned into a nursery lot that glowed with so much Christmas decor she thought she’d stepped into Las Vegas.

  “Wow.” Ellie gulped, her eyes wide. “This place gives new meaning to excessive.”

  He laughed and got out of the truck.

  “Albert, can you give me a hand?” Wyatt’s voice held a certain reserve when he spoke to the boy, but Ellie thought he was getting used to thinking of Albert as someone other than the enemy.

  “Can I go, too?” Gracie said as she reached for her seat belt.

  “Not this time.” Wyatt winked at her. “It’s a surprise.”

  Frustrated but also curious, Gracie kept watch until she saw the two males returning. “They didn’t get anything,” she said, disappointed.

  “Don’t judge by what you see,” Albert told her. “Christmas is all about believing. Gran used to say nobody would believe God would send His son as a baby in a manger where animals were, but that’s exactly what He did.”

  A little thrill wiggled inside Ellie when Wyatt smiled at her, delighted when he suggested prolonging the fun by treating them all to ice cream.

  Back at his ranch Gracie squealed with excitement when she saw a conical shape sitting in a massive pot on the front step.

  “It’s a Christmas tree!”

  “See, Gracie? You have to believe,” Albert told her. “Wyatt had it delivered while we had ice cream.” His chest puffed out a little. “I helped pick it out.”

  “Good job.” Ellie applauded. “It’s gorgeous and much better than a fake tree.”

  “Or cutting one down.” Wyatt unlocked the door and waited for everyone to enter before he carried in the tree. “It’s an Aleppo pine tree. I’ll plant it when Christmas is over. In ten years I’ll have a nice grove of trees. If it survives,” he muttered as Cade yanked on a bough.

  They immediately began to decorate it. Within minutes Ellie was doubled over in laughter.

  “It’s not funny,” Wyatt growled
as he lifted off the strand of lights Gracie had tossed on, and rearranged them more symmetrically.

  “It’s hilarious.” She chuckled even harder watching his face as the kids hung ornaments willy-nilly. Like a robot on overdrive Wyatt unhooked and rehooked them, trying to keep up. “Give up. It’s a Christmas tree, Wyatt. Not a work of art.”

  Ellie felt awful for saying that when his face got a stricken look, and he left to sit rigidly on the sofa.

  “I’m sorry,” she apologized. “It’s your tree and your home. You should decorate it the way you want.”

  “Do you know what I was doing?” he whispered, his voice ragged. “I was doing exactly what my father did to me. In all my years of living with him I never managed to hang even one Christmas decoration the way he wanted. I was trying to decorate the tree as he wanted, and he’s not even here to see.”

  Ellie couldn’t stand seeing his pain, so she leaned over and threaded her fingers in his.

  “So you’ll change. Right?”

  “Absolutely.” He squeezed her fingers, then covered their clasped hands with his other one. “Thank you, Ellie.”

  “No.” She shook her head as she pulled her hand free, desperate to move away before she did something rash—like kiss him again. “Thank you for making this such a fun time for them.” She nodded toward the kids.

  “For me, too,” was all Wyatt said, but when she relaxed against the sofa, Wyatt’s arm somehow crept behind her head and rested above her shoulders. And she liked it.

  “Christmas is coming together, isn’t it?” she said later after he’d put Cade to bed and Albert was sitting in a corner reading the Christmas story to Gracie. “What do you hope for Christmas, Wyatt?”

  “Finding out about my mother would be the perfect gift.” He grinned. “I might get it, too.”

  “Oh?”

  “I just got a text. I’m getting a report about her tomorrow.” When Wyatt turned his head, Ellie caught her breath at the hopeful yet wary look she saw there. “Can you pray about it?” he asked.

  “Absolutely.” For the second time that night she reached out and took his hand. And this time she hung on, tamping down her own feelings to offer support and encouragement to him. But inside she was whispering a totally different prayer than the one he requested.

  This man has a place in my heart, God, and I know that’s not Your will for me. So what am I supposed to do about it?

  *

  “Esau doesn’t understand why he’s wearing this strange harness, Gracie.” Wyatt gazed down at her as she regarded the fidgeting pony. “That’s why we need you to help him get used to it. Okay?”

  “Yeah.” Lately the little girl had seemed down, despite the fast approach of Christmas. Wyatt was pretty sure it had to do with him and his refusal to be the daddy she longed for, but he wasn’t sure how to fix it other than the obvious solution, and he wasn’t going to do that even though he’d grown very fond of Gracie.

  “You’re sad today.” It felt like her tiny fist squeezed his heart when she bowed her head. “Can you tell me why?”

  After a very long silence, Gracie lifted her head, her eyes locking with his. “Why doesn’t God answer prayers?”

  Nothing like an easy question.

  “What makes you think He doesn’t?”

  She gave him a look of disdain.

  “You mean about me being your daddy?”

  She nodded glumly.

  Wyatt frowned. “But that’s not the only thing bothering you, is it?”

  She shook her head.

  “I’m no good at guessing. You have to tell me what’s wrong, Gracie.”

  “It’s not just my prayers.” Her bottom lip trembled. “It’s lots of people’s.”

  “Like?” Wyatt had no clue how to deal with this, but some inner warning compelled him to keep her talking. “Who else doesn’t get their prayers answered?”

  “You.”

  Wyatt blinked in surprise. “Me?”

  “Uh-huh.” Gracie looped the horse’s reins around the saddle’s pommel. “You been prayin’ to find your mommy, but God doesn’t answer.”

  Her words and the sympathy in her gaze touched his heart. What a dear, sweet child she was. Any father would be proud to call Gracie his.

  “My mom has been gone a long time. Maybe God needs some time to find her,” he explained. The day was almost over, and the investigator still hadn’t called.

  “God doesn’t need time,” Gracie scoffed. “He can do what He wants when He wants to.”

  “Then maybe I need time.” Torn by anticipation that perhaps today he’d finally learn the truth about his mother and yet hesitant to have those years-long questions answered, Wyatt had a hunch Gracie would understand his issues. “Do you want to know a secret?”

  Gracie’s eyes widened as she slowly nodded.

  “I’m a little bit scared to meet my mother.” It felt good to admit that.

  “Why?” Gracie’s forehead pleated in a frown. “’Cause maybe she won’t like you?”

  “Something like that,” he admitted, giving voice to what had hidden inside him for years. “Maybe that’s why she went away, because she didn’t like me.”

  “Nah. You’re nice, so I don’t think that’s why.” Gracie’s staunch support made him chuckle. “’Sides, mommies always like their kids.”

  Wyatt didn’t have the heart to tell her it wasn’t always true, but he didn’t have to because Gracie found her own answer.

  “Maybe not.” She frowned again. “Albert’s mommy left him, and he’s been prayin’ a long time for her to come back.” She heaved a giant sigh. “So why doesn’t God answer our prayers?”

  “There might be lots of reasons, and I doubt we’ll ever know all of them.” That answer was weak as water. Wyatt wanted desperately to reassure this sweet child so he hurried on. “I think the important thing is to keep talking to God and trusting that He’ll do His best for us.”

  “I guess.” Gracie’s face looked only a little less glum.

  “So can you try riding Esau again now?” he asked, feeling like he’d failed her. “Hold the reins as I showed you and lean back, just the way you think Esther would.”

  “But I don’t even know her,” Gracie complained.

  “You’ll meet her soon,” he said, hoping he could keep his word.

  “How’s it going?” Ellie called from her stance by the fence rail. She gave Gracie an encouraging smile. “Looks good, sweetie.”

  “Can you stay here with her for a minute?” he asked her because he’d just figured out the problem. “I need to get Tanner, so he can see what I mean about an adjustment. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  It took a little longer than that. By the time Wyatt returned, Albert had appeared and was trying to persuade Gracie to put her feet in the stirrups.

  “It makes the horse feel better,” he said as if he were a riding pro.

  “But it makes my legs hurt,” Gracie complained. “They don’t fit.”

  “Exactly.” Wyatt turned to Tanner. “See what I was saying?”

  They mulled it over for a few moments, then came up with a solution.

  “Am I done now?” Gracie finally asked. “’Cause I gotta go to the practice.”

  “Choir rehearsal for their concert,” Ellie explained when Wyatt sent her a questioning look. “After that we’re going caroling at a seniors’ home. Want to come?”

  “That’s why I stayed after the class today,” Albert explained. “I’m going, too.”

  “I’ll go with you.” Wyatt made the snap decision because there was still nothing from the investigator, and it was driving him nuts.

  Ellie gave him a big smile. “Glad to have you.” Her dazzling grin did funny things to Wyatt’s midsection.

  “I’ll have to bring Cade—”

  “I can look after him,” Albert volunteered. His face got a little red when all eyes focused on him. “I like little kids,” he said defensively. “And Cade’s cute.”

  “T
hanks, Albert.” Wyatt felt a kindling of a connection with the boy. Now that he knew Albert better, he realized he wouldn’t have been part of the joyriding bunch that killed Taryn. Something inside him yearned to befriend him, but he hesitated. What if he failed Albert?

  “’S’cuse me,” Gracie said in a loud voice, exasperation all over her face. “Can I get down now?”

  “Yes.” Wyatt hid his grin as he lifted her off Esau’s back. “You’ve been a great help. Thank you, Gracie.”

  “Welcome.” She smiled at him as if they shared a secret. And maybe they did.

  Wyatt was about to leave with the horse when she tugged on his pant leg and motioned him to bend down. When he did Gracie stood on tiptoe, cupped her hand around his ear and whispered.

  “Don’t be scared no more. If I pray about finding your mom really hard, maybe God’ll answer that prayer.”

  She was such a sweetheart. A lump lodged in Wyatt’s throat, making it impossible for him to speak. So he simply nodded then, without thought, hugged her tightly. If only—

  “I gotta go now,” she whispered this time much louder, giving a slight wiggle to get free.

  “So we’ll meet you at the church?” Ellie studied the two of them with a confused look.

  “After I get Cade, you mean? Okay.” Wyatt had a hunch he was getting entirely too dependent on the lovely Ellie for company, but how could he not?

  Ellie was the very spirit of Christmas, baking goodies, insisting he get a tree and helping decorate his house. He felt a rush of warmth inside him whenever he thought about the bighearted nurse who spread cheer wherever she went.

  His life would be so boring without Ellie.

  But he couldn’t care for her as more than a friend, and even that was risky because he always ended up failing people.

  Wyatt snapped himself out of that vein of thought, then noticed Albert standing just beyond the circle of their group, as if he felt left out. Wyatt knew exactly how that felt. He made a sudden decision.

  “Want to come with me, Albert?”

  A surprised look flickered across the boy’s face before he gave a nod. “Sure.”