Her Christmas Family Wish Page 13

  “No.” Ellie frowned. “His house looked dark when we dropped Albert off last night, as if no one was home. But he insisted his cousin would be around, and I had to get Gracie home—”

  “You don’t have to apologize, Ellie. It’s not your job, or Wyatt’s, to care for Albert, but it does raise some questions about the folks whose job it is.” Tanner kissed Sophie goodbye. “I’ll be sorting out tack,” he said, giving her a long look, as if he couldn’t bear to be far from her side.

  Ellie’s heart ached for someone to look at her with that same gaze of adoration. But that was silly to hope for when she knew what God expected. With a sigh she buried herself in her work until she heard the bus rolling in. Then she pasted a smile on her face and went out to greet the kids.

  She managed to keep her mind off Wyatt while the boys demonstrated their ability to curry their animals. Then they were learning how to trot their mounts when Wyatt appeared on the other side of Albert’s horse. Ellie couldn’t control her racing heart or the silly smile she knew she wore.

  “I hear you’ll be joining our staff. Welcome.” She pretended her smile was purely professional. “I think you’ll enjoy it here.”

  “News travels fast.” He stopped Albert to point out his loose cinch, then grinned at her. “I already enjoy it here.”

  “Good.” Don’t read anything into his friendliness, Ellie. He’s one of the nice guys—to everyone.

  “I took more of your advice last night.” He offered his encouragement as Albert tightened the cinch, then nervously climbed on the horse and nudged it to move.

  “My advice?” Ellie gulped when Wyatt swiveled to look at her. “What was that?”

  Wyatt leaned forward and whispered, “I asked God to help me forgive Ted.”

  “Great.” She noticed the way he glanced around at the group and saw how the corners of his mouth tightened.

  “I think that’s going to take some doing, though, because as I look around, I don’t feel compassion for most of these kids.”

  “You need a different filter.” Ellie grinned. “It’s something Pastor Jeff said in his sermon a few weeks ago. When it’s hard for us to do as God instructs us, Jeff suggested we put on a ‘God filter’ that strips away all the things we see as so good about ourselves and see what God sees.”

  “Which is?”

  “The view that we are no better than the next guy, that we need forgiveness just as much as he does, and maybe more.”

  There was no time to talk for the rest of the lesson as Ellie was called on to treat a boy who’d caught his foot in a stirrup when dismounting. But that didn’t stop her from silently praying for Wyatt as she worked.

  She escorted the boy to the gate and remained, smiling and waving as the kids loaded onto the bus. Albert had a window seat, and after a moment’s hesitation, he waved back at her, his smile faint but still there.

  When the group was gone, the staff gathered for a coffee break on the patio where Tanner made a little speech welcoming Wyatt to their group. Ellie forced herself to keep her applause mild, but inside she was jumping with joy because she’d now see Wyatt almost every day.

  Foolish, her brain chided. She wanted to ignore it, but Gracie’s arrival off the bus reminded her of her duty.

  Ellie was more than ready to put some distance between herself and the ranch so she could sort out her feelings for Wyatt. But her daughter, it seemed, was not.

  “We hafta go to Cade’s place,” Gracie said as she tossed her backpack into the car.

  “Oh, honey, not tonight. I’ve got so much to do to get ready for Christmas.” Ellie knew from the jut of Gracie’s chin that reason wasn’t going to work. “Why do you need to go there?”

  “I hafta do something Melissa said to do ’bout my gift for Cade.” Gracie frowned darkly. “An’ I can’t tell you what ’cause it’s a secret.”

  “What’s a secret?” Wyatt asked after stepping out from a stand of sycamores. He listened carefully to what Gracie said, wrinkled his nose and shot Ellie a questioning look.

  “She won’t tell me.” Ellie shrugged, wishing she could control the rush of joy that filled her every time he appeared.

  “I don’t think today is a very good time, Gracie.”

  Something about Wyatt’s voice got Ellie’s attention. She surreptitiously studied him, wondering what had happened to turn his eyes so dark and turbulent.

  “Oh.” Gracie deflated. There was no other description to fully convey the way her chest slumped, her shoulders dipped, and her lips drooped. “But Christmas isn’t very far away,” she pleaded.

  “Exactly nine days,” Ellie added almost but not quite under her breath.

  “And you’ve got things to do.” Wyatt nodded. “So do I. Maybe another time, Gracie.” He turned to walk away. To Ellie’s eyes he also looked deflated. And maybe a little cross?

  “You stay here, honey,” she ordered Gracie. “I need to talk to Wyatt in private.”

  “Please, Mommy, please get him to let us come. Please?” Gracie begged, hope sparkling in her blue eyes just the way Karen’s had when she and Ellie were young.

  “I don’t think so. Now, stay here,” she directed.

  “An’ pray. That’s what I’ll do.” Gracie flopped down on a stump and clasped her hands.

  Shaking her head, Ellie walked up to Wyatt. “Is something wrong? You seem—”

  She wasn’t prepared when he whirled to face her, fury evident in his body language.

  “He’s coming here.”

  “Who?” Ellie had never seen him this angry.

  “Ted.” He glared at the phone he still held in his hand. “I just had a phone call from a friend who learned that Ted was never charged with Taryn’s accident.”

  “I’m so sorry.” She knew how much he’d been counting on Ted’s punishment to make him feel that his wife’s needless death would be avenged.

  “That’s not the worst of it.” Wyatt’s jaw flexed. “Apparently he has some youth sponsor from the church, a do-gooder who wants to be sure that poor Ted doesn’t suffer any negative effects from his brush with the law, so he’s enrolled him in a program here, at Wranglers. Isn’t that rich? Ted gets to ride horses while Cade goes without his mother.”

  “I don’t know what to say.” Ellie could hardly stand to watch his pain. “I’m so sorry you have to go through this.”

  “I don’t have to.” His jaw clenched again as he turned to peer into the brush. “I’m going to resign. I should never have taken the job here anyway.”

  “But you don’t have clients.” Suddenly she knew not seeing Wyatt every day would be far worse than enduring the pain of seeing him, loving him and not being able to do anything about it. “You can’t quit.”

  “I can’t be here when he comes, can’t watch him gloating over his escape from justice,” he said in a cracked voice.

  “Oh, Wyatt.” Ellie couldn’t help it. She stepped forward and drew him into her arms, hurting because he hurt and desperate to assuage his pain.

  As Wyatt’s arms slid around her waist and he drew her near, his breath brushed her ear. For a moment it was pure bliss to be so close, to be the one he leaned on, the one he turned to for support. But even as those thoughts filled her head, Ellie knew it couldn’t last.

  So she eased away, breaking contact with him, though it was so hard not to let that embrace go on and on. But that wasn’t what either of them needed right now.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking,” she urged.

  “That I let myself get too consumed with work and Cade. I keep making the same old mistake over and over.” A sigh came from deep within him. “I should have done something, insisted the police find more evidence. Something, anything, because now Ted’s going to get away with what he did.”

  “Wait a minute.” Ellie squeezed her eyes closed to think. When she opened them Wyatt was staring at her, a frown on his face. “Who said Ted did anything wrong?”

  “The police?” Wyatt’s confusion was obvious. �
�He was arrested. He was found at the scene. I don’t know what you’re saying, Ellie.”

  “I’m saying you don’t know the reason he wasn’t charged.” She had to get him to refocus. “You don’t know anything about Ted, not for sure.”

  “I know what the cops told me.” Wyatt stared at her as if she’d somehow betrayed him.

  “That was how long ago? The night Taryn died?” she asked quietly and waited for his nod. “You lost your wife, Wyatt. You were grieving, you had a baby to care for, a funeral to plan, a life to put back together. Two lives. That was more than enough for you to handle. It was the duty of the police and the courts to find out who was to blame and to punish them.”

  “Which they have not done.” He was clearly unable to reconcile his anger and guilt.

  “How do you know?” She touched his arm, trying to make him reconsider. “You’re angry and upset. All this time, since that awful night, you’ve blamed Ted for ruining your life. You haven’t been able to forgive him, you said.”

  “No, but I thought that if I tried hard, if I was willing to let go of everything…” He exhaled. “But I can’t.”

  “Can I say something?” She saw his nod but hesitated. “You won’t want to hear me, Wyatt. It will hurt, and you’ve had a bellyful of hurt already. But I think you need to consider who you can’t forgive.”

  His head jerked up, and he gaped at her.

  “What I mean is this. You’ve tried so hard to do the right thing, be the right son, to not repeat your father’s mistakes. And yet your life got dumped on.” She touched his arm, trying to soften words that couldn’t be softened. “Are you really truly unable to forgive Ted?” she whispered. “Or is it God you can’t forgive for letting Taryn die, for letting your perfect family be destroyed?”

  The words hung in the air. How she wished she could take them back, could unsay them and never have to remember Wyatt’s devastated eyes.

  “No, Ellie. That’s not it.” He glared at her, his face rigid and unyielding. “Taryn died because I didn’t keep my promise to her. If I had, she’d still be alive.” The harsh words hit her like ice pellets. “I have to live with that. But I’m not the only one to blame. Ted should pay for his part in her death, and now he won’t. That’s what I can’t forgive. Or forget.”

  Then he turned and walked off. A moment later his truck roared away from the ranch.

  “He doesn’t want us, does he?” Gracie stood watching the red plumes of dust with tears rolling down her cheeks. “He’s got Cade and he doesn’t need anybody else in his family. He doesn’t want to be my daddy.”

  Ellie consoled her daughter all the way home, then went to extreme lengths to cheer her up by letting her try on her angel costume for the concert. But later she sent a constant barrage of prayers heavenward. Not just prayers for Gracie, but for a man, a generous, kind veterinarian caught in a maelstrom of pain, anger and bitter regret.

  Please, please, don’t let me love him.

  What a futile prayer. Wyatt Wright was embedded in her heart.

  *

  At first Wyatt held off on giving his resignation, because he was too embarrassed to cancel on Tanner when he had such huge expectations for the Make-A-Wish kids. He went to work, did his job and pretended everything was normal. And he avoided Ellie.

  If only it was so easy to avoid her voice in his head.

  Is it God you can’t forgive for letting Taryn die?

  Somewhere in those words he thought he heard a ring of truth, but unable to handle more than his new job, his son and his needy ranch, Wyatt blocked them out in exactly the same way he blocked out the memory of Ellie holding him, trying to comfort him. Ellie the nurturer.

  He was successful at avoiding her for one day. Then she tracked him to the farthest quarter of Wranglers Ranch on a horse she could barely sit.

  “I have something to tell you, and you’ve no alternative but to listen to me.” Her hair was a halo of mussed curls, her face glowed with perspiration, and she kept rubbing one hand as if it hurt. “This time you cannot run away.”

  “Who said I was running?” he asked, then gave up because there was absolutely no point in lying to Ellie. She homed in on truth like hummingbirds to nectar.

  “Now, listen to me, Wyatt, because this is important.” She dismounted then sat down on a bale, her eyes locking on him. “Albert is Ted.”

  “What?” He couldn’t figure out what she meant.

  “His real name is Albert, but his relatives call him Ted. That’s the name you heard the police use that night.” She studied him as if trying to assess his reaction. “Well?” she demanded, frustrated by his lack of response. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

  “How do you know this?” He fiddled with his gloves, trying not to stare at her and failing. She was so lovely, especially when that temper showed.

  “He came to decorate cookies last night. That’s when he told Gracie that his uncle had started calling him Ted because he said he was fat like a teddy bear.”

  Wyatt just sat there, trying hard to make sense of what she’d said.

  “Do you want to hear the rest?” she demanded.

  “Do I have a choice?” He watched a pucker form on her brow and nodded. “That’s what I thought. Continue.”

  “When he was five, Albert’s mother left him with his grandmother and never came back. His Gran was a wonderful woman who loved him and raised him right. But she died and that left eleven-year-old Albert—eleven, Wyatt,” she emphasized in case he hadn’t heard her the first time. “It left that poor kid at the mercy of his relatives whom, I might add, have a very disreputable reputation, according to a certain social worker I know.”

  “Ah, the hard luck story.”

  Her eyes narrowed in warning.

  “Sorry,” he apologized, though he wasn’t in the least sorry. Ellie mad was really something to see. “Go on.”

  She studied him with a glower that said she wasn’t sure he was serious, then shifted from the bale to the ground and continued.

  “Yes, I will, because you need to hear this to understand who Ted is.” She blew her bangs off her forehead.

  “Okay then, go on.” He looked at her and realized he’d missed her. This steamrollering nurse who didn’t take no for an answer, didn’t even hear it, truth be told.

  “So here’s this orphaned kid and, despite having to change his home and school and move into that drug-infested neighborhood where his sketchy, not to mention abusive, relatives live—” Her steely gray eyes dared him to argue with that assessment. “Despite losing the only mother he’s ever known, our Ted manages to steer clear of trouble and keep up his excellent grades.”

  “A model citizen, in fact. Bravo.” He was deliberately goading her, but he couldn’t stop, couldn’t make himself forget what Ted had done.

  “He really is, Wyatt. And you know what? He had nothing to do with your wife’s death.” She must have seen his skepticism. “It’s the truth, and there are many witnesses who back up his story, which is why he’s innocent. He was only at the scene that night because his cousin—the driver of the car—called him for help. Because he was scared and he knew Ted would know what to do. Which was good because Ted called 911.”

  Ellie leaned back on her hands and studied him like a hawk with prey, obviously waiting for his reaction. But Wyatt struggled to comprehend what she’d said.

  “Don’t you get it? Ted isn’t guilty of Taryn’s death.” Her tone modulated. “He doesn’t deserve your anger, Wyatt, and he doesn’t need your forgiveness because he didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “He was still there.” The feeble excuse sounded pathetic even to him. But he’d blamed the kid for so long, blamed an innocent boy when the blame lay directly on himself.

  “Let it go.” Ellie shook her head. “It’s not doing you any good to hang on to this ill will. Besides…”

  He recognized that pause; it meant she had something else to say, something she thought he wouldn’t like.

&nb
sp; “Besides?”

  “What if the situation was different, Wyatt? What if Cade was the kid someone was blaming for something that wasn’t his fault?” Those gray eyes wouldn’t let him ignore the truth. “Would you want them to treat Cade as unfairly as you’re treating Ted?”

  Trust Ellie to illustrate his stubbornness so perfectly.

  “Okay, I get it. But it’s going to take me a while.” He heaved a sigh because the truth could no longer be disputed no matter how unpalatable it was. “I have to mentally mesh Albert and Ted, figure out how to deal with what I thought I knew. It won’t happen overnight.”

  “I know.” She rose, walked over to him and touched his arm. “It won’t be easy, but you’ll do it, Wyatt.”

  “How do you know that?” he demanded, frustrated by the idealized vision she seemed to have of him. Couldn’t she tell how unsatisfied he was by this knowledge? Couldn’t she see that Albert’s—Ted’s—innocence only made his own guilt seem worse?

  “Because of who your Father is. God will heal your heart, if you let Him.” Ellie’s words triggered an awareness inside him. The hole Taryn’s death had left in his heart was healing, thanks in part to Ellie’s gentle comfort but also because of Gracie’s unwavering love.

  But if his faith was real, if he truly believed God was the master of his life, there was more to the story.

  “What are you thinking, Wyatt? Please, tell me.” Ellie stood before him now, her face troubled as she waited.

  “It’s just dawned on me.” Wyatt could hardly wrap his brain around it. “Ted—Albert—I can’t blame anyone because, in truth, Taryn’s life was in God’s hands. That’s what she believed. He’s who she trusted completely.”

  “Yes.” Ellie smiled, but she still waited expectantly.

  A flicker of something fresh, something joyful seemed to come alive inside him.

  “Nothing happens unless God allows it. He knew she’d die that night and that it would be my fault for breaking my promise.”

  “Right.” A huge grin spread across her face. “He knew, and He forgives you. Don’t you think Taryn would, too, if she was here?”

  “Yes.” He had to admit it, because she had not been one to hold grudges. “She wouldn’t have liked the way I’ve been.”