Rancher Daddy (Family Ties Book 2) Page 7

  Holly hated the gush of hurt that always swamped her when she admitted to herself that she lived a lie, that ultimately she’d failed to be the exemplary daughter she’d striven so hard to be. She was the local golden girl tarnished by a major mistake. She’d given away her child, let someone else raise the grandchild her father never knew because she hadn’t wanted her dad to be ashamed of her. Worse, she hadn’t wanted the town to realize how far she’d fallen from the pedestal on which they’d placed her. She’d never realized that what others thought would never make up for the loss that now plagued her.

  That was why she couldn’t open that trunk. She didn’t want to hear her father’s praise and know she wasn’t worthy of it. She’d tried to accept that the only important opinion was God’s, but she’d failed Him, too. It was a burden she couldn’t break free of. How could God ever forgive or forget her sin?

  Holly studied Luc’s face, suddenly curious to know what he’d think of her if he knew the truth about her. Luc was all about children, a heritage, a legacy. Deep down inside she knew he’d never countenance giving away a child she should have loved and protected. His reaction would mirror Ron’s. Luc would be disgusted by her willingness to abandon her principles to maintain a charade, to protect herself.

  That’s why she’d never tell him or anyone else in town about her baby.

  “Holly?” He urged her from her reverie. “God’s will?” he nudged.

  “Sorry.” She regrouped and continued. “If the answer I’m looking for isn’t clear, I pray for a specific answer, like asking God to do something special so I’ll know I’m in His will.”

  “But I’ve done that and I’m still unclear,” he said with a frown.

  “I’m sorry, Luc.” She smiled, but her heart ached for his confusion. “Sometimes it’s a matter of moving ahead with the information we have and trusting that He will guide us where we should go. Maybe that’s where you are at,” she suggested.

  “But what if I misjudge what He’s saying?” His eyes bored into hers with an intensity that made Holly shift uncomfortably.

  “That’s how we learn. We start over and try to do better.” Saying those words made Holly feel like a hypocrite. How could she possibly start over from her mistake?

  “You don’t sound convinced,” he teased. “But then given your dad and the home you had, I doubt you’ve ever made any serious mistakes.”

  “You’d be surprised.” Exceedingly uncomfortable with the turn of the conversation, Holly rose and began clearing the table.

  “I’m sorry.” Luc’s hand covered hers. When she turned to glance at him, his face was mere inches away. “That wasn’t very sensitive. I’m sure you’ve had lots of struggles, Holly. I didn’t mean to diminish them.”

  “I’ve struggled with being in God’s will for years,” she admitted quietly before moving away from his touch.

  “Really? But you know your future. You have a great career. You’re there whenever someone needs you.” Luc paused. “What is there to question? You’re in His will.”

  “If I am, then why didn’t I know my fiancé wouldn’t be able to accept—” She stopped before she blurted out her secret to Luc. He was too good a listener. “When I didn’t know he wouldn’t be able to accept what I told him? That was a humiliating mistake to make.” She was utterly embarrassed to discuss this with him.

  “At least you didn’t marry the wrong guy.” Luc touched her shoulder and turned her so he could look into her face. The sympathy she saw there soothed the stinging hurt inside her heart. “God saved you from making that mistake, Holly.”

  “I wish He’d chosen a less public way,” she mumbled. “Everyone in town…and everyone at any wedding…they look at me with pity. I hate that.”

  “I doubt anyone pities you,” Luc said. “If there is pity, it’s for Ron. He has no idea what he missed out on by dumping you.”

  “That’s nice of you to say.” Holly turned away to load the dishwasher, trying to hide her blush at the depth of sincerity in Luc’s voice.

  “It’s the truth. Any man would be proud to have you for his wife, Holly. Don’t let Ron turn you off marriage.”

  “It’s not just that.” She poured two fresh cups of coffee and set them on the table along with the tarts she’d bought that afternoon. She waited until Luc was seated, too. “You’re talking about God’s will.”

  “Yes.” He waited patiently for her to organize her thoughts.

  “I don’t believe I’m supposed to be married.” Before he could speak she hurried on. “That’s not a reaction to my canceled wedding, it’s because of it. I think God has something else in store for me, so that’s why I’m confused about His will. I don’t know what that something is.”

  *

  Luc wasn’t exactly sure why he hated hearing Holly reject marriage. In his mind’s eye he could see a little girl with Holly’s turned-up nose and bouncing curls running across the field after a baby lamb. The movie in his mind widened to include Holly, her bubbling laughter floating on the breeze as she chased after her daughter. She scooped up the little girl and hugged her close, whispering “I love you.”

  She was so meant to be a mom.

  “Luc?”

  He blinked back to reality. “Yeah?”

  “Can I ask you something?” Holly waited for his nod. “When you talked about Sarah, you said you two broke up because she wouldn’t move here.”

  He nodded, wondering where this was leading.

  “In hindsight, do you think that if she had agreed your marriage would have been a success?” She stared at him, waiting for an answer he didn’t have.

  “I don’t know.” Looking at Holly, Luc realized he could barely recall Sarah’s features. He only knew she’d never looked as pretty as Holly did now, the lamplight bathing her in its glow.

  “I don’t think it would have,” she murmured, her face pensive as her gaze held his.

  “Because?”

  “Your problem wasn’t that Sarah wouldn’t come here.” Holly pinned him with that needle-sharp look that couldn’t be evaded. “Could it be that you thought having her come here was some kind of guarantee of her commitment?”

  “I never thought of it that way, but I did think that once she moved she would have settled in.” He made a face. “That was before she called Buffalo Gap Hicksville.”

  “But, Luc,” Holly persisted. “You could have found work in the city if you really loved her. You could have given up your ranch.” She nibbled on her bottom lip for a minute, a sure sign Holly had something else to say.

  “Go ahead. You won’t hurt my feelings,” he said.

  “I think you wanted Sarah to move here because you thought that would mean she really loved you,” she said very quietly. “Maybe you didn’t quite trust her.”

  Luc frowned, not liking what he heard but finding a grain of truth in Holly’s words. “Why do you think that?”

  “Because I made the same mistake.” Her voice brimmed with sadness. “I hung on to my secrets until the last possible moment before I told Ron. That’s not how trust works between people who love each other.”

  “You’re saying you didn’t really love him?” Luc found himself holding his breath as he waited for her answer and wondered why it mattered to him so much.

  “I didn’t love him enough to marry him.” Holly’s blunt admission surprised him. “First Corinthians 13 says that if you love someone you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him and always stand your ground in defending him. I couldn’t do that for Ron.”

  “So another man will come along one day—” He stopped because Holly was shaking her head.

  “No, I don’t think it will be different with another man.” Holly’s lips tightened. “That’s why I think God’s plan is for me to remain single.”

  Luke was astounded by his need to scream “no.” By the certainty that loving, motherly Holly deserved to marry and be the mom he knew she would be.
By the urge to take her in his arms and assure her that God would never have created such lovingness in her if He hadn’t intended her to share it with a family. Luc opened his mouth to object, but his response was cut off by the ring of the telephone.

  Holly answered, listened for a moment then slowly hung up. When she turned to him, her face was ashen.

  “That was Mayor Marsha. Henry’s been hurt. He’s at the hospital and he’s asking for you.”

  Luc froze as fear grabbed him and held on.

  “Come on, I’ll drive you there.” When he didn’t, couldn’t move, Holly grasped his arm and nudged him forward. “Come on, Luc. We need to go to Henry.”

  “But—” He could not voice all the things that could go wrong, that could steal this precious child from him. Fortunately, he didn’t have to. Holly understood.

  “Pray,” she said quietly. “Pray and trust knowing that God’s will is to do what’s best for Henry.”

  As Holly drove him to the hospital, she talked about Henry’s little foibles, the fun they’d had together and things she planned to do with him in the future.

  “We need to take him on that fishing trip we promised,” she said. “Maybe not tomorrow if he’s injured, but we do have to make it happen, Luc. And we should also teach him to ride. Every kid should know how to ride a horse. And I want to make cookies with him.”

  Holly’s list of activities kept him so busy during the drive into town that he almost stopped imagining the worst about Henry.

  “Henry’s going to need you to be strong for him, Luc,” Holly said as she pulled up to the hospital.

  “He’s going to need you, too,” Luc said. And that’s when he knew that he wanted Holly there when Henry finally visited the ranch. He wanted all three of them together, safely enjoying this world God had created.

  Holly and Henry were part of his life now.

  And he couldn’t lose either of them.

  Chapter Five

  “You had us so worried, Henry.” Luc’s pale, tense face bore witness to his words.

  Holly grasped his arm and squeezed it to let him know she was there to support him, but also to help him calm down because she could see worry building in Henry.

  “We’re so glad you weren’t badly hurt, Henry,” she added. “Is your arm very painful?”

  His bottom lip trembled as he shook his head, but he winced as the on-duty nurse pushed his sleeve up to bandage the razed skin.

  “I’m okay,” he said bravely.

  Since they’d already heard from Mayor Marsha that he’d raced into the street to save Hilda’s cat and been bumped by a passing car, neither she nor Luc asked for more details. It was clear from the way Henry had latched on to Luc and not let go since they’d arrived that the boy had been badly frightened.

  “There we go.” Nurse Dora Cummings taped the last bit of gauze in place then handed Henry a sticker. “Good job, little man. In a day or two we’ll take that off and put a small bandage on it. Pretty soon you won’t even remember it was there.”

  “I appreciate the extra fussing over him, Dora,” Holly whispered as they stood together near the door while Luc and Henry chatted.

  “He’s a cute kid. I think the worst damage he did was to scare himself. He’ll be fine.” The nurse frowned. “Say, did you check over that young girl that showed up at Family Ties?”

  “Alice Something?” Holly shook her head. “Doc Treple did when she first showed up.”

  “No, she delivered yesterday. This one is Petra, Petra Stark.”

  “Never met her.” Holly knew Dora was an excellent nurse. If her radar was up, there was good reason. “Something wrong?”

  “I was at Family Ties today and I only saw her for a few minutes, but since I did something’s been niggling at me. One of the other nurses did the workup that Abby always asks for before accepting a client at Family Ties. I checked it.” Dora hesitated. “On the form Petra said she was thirty-six weeks along in her pregnancy.”

  “You think that’s wrong,” Holly said, understanding immediately.

  “I think she’s very close to giving birth but she’s trying to hide it and I can’t figure out why. You’re better at getting patients to confide than I am.” Dora’s big smile stretched across her face. “I can never worm out all the details like you do. I thought maybe you could stop by, talk to her.”

  “I’ll try.” She thought for a moment. “I drove in with Luc and I’m not sure if he’s in a hurry to get back, but if I can’t see her tonight then I’ll stop by tomorrow,” Holly promised. “I have a couple of quilts to drop off anyway.”

  “I heard you’d volunteered to do quilts for each child Family Ties arranges adoptions for. That’s generous. I love your baby quilts. I hope I get to see your latest one before it’s gone. One is more adorable than the next.”

  “Thank you. But don’t worry, I’ll have pictures. I’ll probably bore you to tears,” Holly said, basking in the compliment.

  “Your quilts would never bore me. I’m going to hire you to make me one if I ever manage to get pregnant.” For a moment a flicker of uncertainty washed through her eyes.

  “You will. At the right time.” Holly wrapped an arm around Dora’s shoulder and squeezed. “And you won’t hire me because I’ll give you one for a baby gift. Any special orders?”

  “Anything you make will be perfect. Thank you, Holly.” Dora glanced at her patient. “Tell Hilda the doctor says to keep Henry quiet tonight. He bumped his head and I think he still feels a bit woozy, though he won’t admit it. There’s no concussion and he should be fine by morning.” After a wave for Henry she hurried away to tend to another patient.

  As Holly turned she noticed Hilda emerge from another part of the emergency ward. Her face was pale and she was holding her hand to one hip. Before Holly could ask, Hilda explained that she’d hurried after Henry, tripped and injured herself. She was clearly weepy and began fussing over Henry’s care.

  “What if he needs me in the night and I can’t get up those stairs?” Hilda said in a fretful tone.

  “That would be awful,” Holly agreed. She waited a moment then said, “Maybe, just for one night, Henry should go for a sleepover at Luc’s.” She waited with bated breath for Hilda’s objections. None were forthcoming. In fact, Hilda looked relieved. “I don’t know Luc’s plans, but we could ask him. If you’d like?”

  “I think I would like that,” Hilda said with a heavy sigh. “And maybe Henry could stay two nights. I believe I’ll need that long to get myself truly mobile.”

  “No one wants you to overtax, Hilda. Let’s go see if Luc can manage it.” Holly linked her arm in the older woman’s and led her to Luc. She explained the situation, stifling a smile as she noted the joy now lighting his eyes and how quickly it spread to Henry who clung to his hand. “So we were wondering, do you think you could manage a couple of nights? Today’s Friday so maybe until Sunday?” She waited for Hilda’s nod.

  “I’d be very glad to help you out, Hilda. Do we need to check with Abby first?” Luc politely waited for Hilda’s response but Holly could see his anticipation.

  “I’ve already phoned her to meet me here. She’ll want to know about Henry’s accident.” A worried look filled Hilda’s tired eyes. “I just hope she doesn’t think I’m too old to handle him. I know I should have gotten to him sooner but…”

  “Things happen with kids, Hilda. You know that.” Holly hugged her. “You’re doing a fine job of watching Henry. Abby will tell you that, too,” she said as the owner of Family Ties hurried toward them.

  After an explanation, Abby agreed Luc was the perfect answer in this situation. So half an hour later Holly and Luc were helping Henry load an overnight bag into Holly’s jeep.

  “Would it be okay if you two stop for a milk shake while I visit someone at Family Ties?” Holly asked them. Huge grins told her the two males would have no problem with that. As she watched them enter the café, a wistful thought flitted through her heart.

  Luc would ha
ve Henry. But who would she have?

  Holly knew of no way to soothe the ache inside except to pray for God to heal it. Then she walked into Family Ties to see the newest guest Dora had mentioned. Petra Stark sat in the living room. Holly fiddled around rearranging the quilts as she studied the girl and her movements. Petra certainly looked like she was further along in her pregnancy than thirty-six weeks.

  “Hi,” Holly greeted her, introducing herself and explaining her role. “I’m the nurse practitioner for Family Ties. We haven’t met yet but I wanted to stop by and say welcome. I’ll come to see you officially on Monday. We can chat then.”

  “About what?” Petra asked in a guarded tone.

  “Anything you like. I’m here to help with whatever you need.” Holly studied the young blonde while mentally assessing the tiny stress lines around her eyes. “Finding it hard to sleep?”

  “Yes. The baby seems to be kicking me constantly. I can’t sleep much at all.” Petra nodded after Holly made some suggestions. “I’ll try that,” she said.

  “Good. Here’s my card. You call me if you want to talk or for any other reason and we’ll set up a time to meet. If the baby starts coming, you call me right away.”

  “Oh, that won’t be for a long time,” Petra said, but her gaze didn’t meet Holly’s.

  Holly walked out the door of Family Ties with a troubled heart. How could she help this girl if she couldn’t get the truth?

  “Is everything all right?” Luc rose from his seat on the top step. “You look concerned.”

  “I always am with a new patient and this one seems disinclined to tell me the truth. It’s hard to help when someone won’t trust you.” She sighed then frowned at him. “You look worried, too. Where’s Henry?”

  “He finished his milk shake fast and needed something to do so I taught him to play a game on my phone. He’s in the car,” Luc said, pointing to Henry’s dark head barely visible through the car window. “He’s fine. It’s not that.” Luc raked a hand through his short hair, his dark eyes brooding.