Hoping for a Father Page 17

  But what was taking Drew so long?

  “Stupid foot,” she muttered, glaring at her bandaged ankle.

  “Mama!” Ella raced toward her, dark ringlets flying in the breeze, eyes glowing and that big, generous smile wreathing her face.

  “Hi, sweetie.” Mandy pushed her car door open and half turned, arms ready to hug her precious child. “You look so much bigger,” she said after receiving a tight squeeze and a big kiss. “You must have grown two inches.”

  “I still fit my clothes.” Puzzled, Ella pulled at her T-shirt. “If I was bigger, it wouldn’t fit—oh!” Her eyes grew as she caught sight of the support bandage around Mandy’s ankle. “Did you get hurt, Mama?”

  “I did hurt my foot, but it’s getting better every—”

  Ella whirled around to face Drew, glaring at him. “You din’t keep your promise. You said you’d look after Mama good an’ you din’t,” she said angrily. “You lied.”

  Although startled by Ella’s outburst, Mandy was more shocked by Drew’s response. He didn’t argue, didn’t tell Ella that he had tried. He didn’t make excuses for himself. He simply stood there and let Ella berate him. When she was finished, he nodded.

  “I didn’t do enough to look after your mama and I’m very sorry, Ella.”

  “No, wait. Ella, honey, this wasn’t Drew’s fault. I tripped—”

  “He promised. A promise is a promise,” Ella insisted, chin thrust out.

  “Yes, it is. And I broke my promise,” Drew admitted. “But I’m doing my very best to make up for it, Bella Ella. I even learned how to make coffee for your mom.”

  Mandy rolled her eyes. He would say making coffee was his most important skill.

  “Will you forgive me, Ella?” he asked, squatting in front of her.

  “Yup. I hafta.” She nodded. “God forgived me, so I hafta forgive you. That’s what we learned here.” She leaned forward and hugged him. Then she said in a not-quite-whisper, “You can buy me a nice present to make up. It’s my birthday tomorrow.”

  “Ella!” Mandy tried to remonstrate her child, but Drew’s shout of laughter drowned her out. “Stop it,” she ordered, but he couldn’t and soon neither could she. All the same, once Ella was fastened into her seat, Mandy said, “You and I need to have another talk about manners, my girl.”

  “No, Mama. I was jus’ teasing Drew. He knowed it.” She grinned at the man in question before adding in an earnest tone, “But it really is my birthday tomorrow. Did Trina make me a cake?”

  “No, I’m doing that.”

  “You?” Mandy blinked at Drew.

  “Yes, me. Why not? I made pies. I made a cake for Bonnie. Don’t you think I can bake Ella a cake as good as Trina’s?” He looked positively smug. But then, Mandy admitted, Drew had looked that way the entire week, as if he’d never had more fun in his life.

  That worried her a little.

  “The one you made for Bonnie was delicious, so I’m sure that you, the master coffee maker who arrives every morning at 7:00 a.m. To prove his skill, can absolutely bake and decorate a child’s birthday cake,” she said, tongue in cheek. “That you want to is—um, unexpected. What are you making? A castle? Last year Ella had a ladybug cake. The year before it was—” She tried to remember. “Ella, what was it?”

  “I don’t ’member,” the little girl said. “We gotta look in the beautiful things book, I guess.”

  “Well, whatever Bella Ella wants, I will try to create.” Drew chuckled at Mandy’s dubious expression until Ella launched into a description of everything she’d done at camp, filling the drive home with her tales.

  Mandy was content to let her talk. She didn’t want to make conversation with Drew. Not that they didn’t always find a lot to talk about, but she always kept it ranch-focused. Despite that, she still had to remind herself to stop noticing the way his longish hair curled at the edges of his Stetson, or the loping way he walked in his cowboy boots with just a hint of a swagger, or the sweet sound of his laughter that rang out more and more frequently. It was getting difficult to fight her feelings for him, especially when he seemed so excited to share work on the ranch.

  This Drew was more like the man she’d known seven years ago, full of scenarios and possibilities, only this time they were all about the Double H. He stopped short of releasing actual details, but she knew his schemes were well-thought-out because there was always a scrunched-up paper peeking out of his back pocket and he consulted it frequently.

  Then on Thursday evening, instead of leaving the ranch for his men’s Bible study, the men had shown up at the ranch and disappeared into Ben and Bonnie’s house. Why, Mandy wasn’t exactly sure, but whatever it was ended up in a wiener roast around the fire pit in the back.

  She found out more this morning when she got Trina to sneak her over to the main house in one of Ben’s quads. The entire interior had been repainted and freshened up, completely erasing the damaged walls and trim the renovations had left.

  How was she supposed to stop falling in love with a man who did that for his parents? Just listening to him now with Ella, Drew was tender, compassionate and gentle beyond words. Mandy was content to listen unabashedly to his voice and see his smile. Ella clearly bloomed in his presence.

  The thing Mandy had to force herself to accept was that Drew wasn’t staying. She’d heard him promise someone over the phone that once he was back in New York, they’d meet. She figured he was only waiting to leave until she was back on her feet.

  “My driving is so good, your mama must have fallen asleep,” Drew whispered to Ella.

  “Maybe her foot hurts?” she whispered back.

  “No, my foot doesn’t hurt. And I’m not asleep. Just thinking about your birthday, sweetie.” Mandy twisted to smile at her daughter. “Six. I can hardly believe it.”

  “An’ the day after it is Father’s Day.” The joy drained from Ella’s voice. “I prayed so hard to have a daddy for my birthday. How come God doesn’t give me one?”

  Mandy scrounged for an answer, but before she found one Drew spoke.

  “I’m learning that God has His own time to do things, Ella. Time isn’t the same for God as it is for us. He sees what we need and He knows when it’s best to give it and when it’s best for us to wait.” His brow furrowed as he worked through his thought. “As you get older, Bella Ella, you’ll have lots of times when you don’t understand why God does or doesn’t do something. That’s when you have to remember His promises.”

  “What promises?” Ella leaned forward, eager to hear.

  “Well, like this one. ‘Be strong and of good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them. For the Lord thy God, He it is that doth go with thee. He will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.’ That’s from Deuteronomy.”

  “I learned one in camp kinda like that. It was...” Ella scrunched up her face as she recalled the verse. “It said to trust God and not think I know it all. An’ the second part was about asking God what to do when you don’t know. It said He’ll show you.” She shrugged. “Sumthin’ like that. The words get mixed up.”

  “That’s in Proverbs. Good for you, Bella Ella,” Drew encouraged. “Those are very good verses to know.”

  He sounded like a dad, acted like a dad. Why couldn’t he just be Ella’s dad?

  He’ll never be that when he learns your secret.

  “I like camp,” Ella said enthusiastically as they drove under the big metal sign welcoming them to Hanging Hearts Ranch. “But I like home better.”

  “Welcome home, Ella.” Drew opened her door with a flourish and bowed at the waist.

  Home. How much longer did she and her daughter have here, Mandy wondered? How much longer until Drew figured out that he truly belonged here?

  How much time did she have before he demanded the truth and then told her to leave?

  Chapter Twelve

  Little girls
’ birthday parties were as foreign to Drew as being a daddy, but he was enjoying preparing for Ella’s.

  He and Trina had spent the morning blowing up balloons and hanging them all around the yard. He’d asked two hands to bring a picnic table and benches from one of the trail ride spots. They’d set them up in front of Mandy’s house for the celebration.

  Drew had rented a bouncy castle, hoping that six-year-old girls liked that kind of thing. There were water blasters to play with, a piñata to burst and a host of other activities Trina assured him would be fun for Ella and her friends. Hopefully Trina was right because this would probably be the only birthday of Ella’s that Drew would attend, and he wanted everything perfect.

  “You’ve really gone all out,” Mandy said when he joined her on the deck for a cup of coffee. “Thank you for doing this. Ella’s ecstatic.”

  “She’s sure enjoying your gift.” He chuckled as Ella wobbled around the yard, struggling to master the bicycle Mandy had given her.

  Their daughter. That still amazed him.

  “I don’t think I ever properly thanked you for dropping everything to come and help us out,” Mandy said, meeting his gaze with her own but quickly breaking eye contact. “I appreciate it, Drew. Truly.”

  “I appreciate all you do for Ben and Bonnie. Including the house renovations,” he added. “It’s shocking what a difference those few changes you ordered have made. Pulling out that carpet and old flooring and replacing it with one level of hard floor will make moving around their place so much easier. New countertops that are smooth and unbroken, cabinet doors they only need to touch to open and will close themselves...” He shook his head. “Bonnie’s never going to come out of her kitchen.”

  “I hope that’s not true,” Mandy teased.

  “Except maybe to use that stunning bathroom.” He looked at her seriously. “But that one excursion we took the bankers on couldn’t possibly have paid for all those changes.”

  “Actually, the changes aren’t quite complete, and no, their fee didn’t cover everything,” she said. “Turns out your parents’ insurance policy has a clause in it that covers renovations when accessibility is an issue. The banker’s money allowed us to get better quality finishes and complete the list the rehabilitation expert suggested. The painting you and your friends did really enhances all the changes.”

  “Aha, you’ve been wandering when you should be resting,” he said.

  “Trina took me. What?” she complained. “I was curious.”

  “And you wanted to make sure everything was just right.” Drew nodded. “You take extremely good care of Ben and Bonnie. We three brothers haven’t done as much as we should have for them,” he admitted quietly. “It makes me ashamed.”

  “Your parents have been very good to me. I owe them.” Mandy frowned at him. “Why should you feel ashamed? I’m here, on site, all the time. It’s easy for me to see the issues they have.”

  “Exactly. If we came more often, we would have noticed, too.” Drew thrust his booted feet in front of him to stretch his long legs and glanced at her. “If you had unlimited funds, what else would you change for them?”

  “New gutters,” she said immediately. “If it ever rains again, their house needs better capability to get the water away from that old foundation. It’s going to cause problems in another few years.”

  He studied the house critically.

  “Downspouts would have to be extended. It’s probably a good idea to use larger gutters, too. Okay, what else?” Drew’s gaze shifted to Ella while his brain began organizing. “Might be an idea to get a new coat on the foundation, too.”

  “I like how you take an issue and think through all the angles that most people wouldn’t even consider until much later,” she murmured.

  She liked the way he thought? He told himself not to read anything into that.

  “What else?” he prodded to get the discussion off of him.

  “I’d screen in their porch. Ben loves to sit out there in the evening, winter and summer. Bonnie, too. But you and I both know that summers come with lots of bugs.” Mandy thought a minute. “Maybe one of those patio heaters would work in winter, too, although I’m not sure you can close them in.”

  “A built-in fireplace? With a chimney?” Drew’s brows lifted when she shook her head. “Why not?”

  “They’d have to haul wood. That means steps and lifting. That will be difficult for a while. And you know Ben wouldn’t ask any of the hands to do it,” she added. “He’s too proud to say he needs help.”

  “Now who’s looking at the angles?” He quashed his disgruntled feelings that she’d shot down another of his ideas. But Mandy was right about this. “I get caught up in logistical stuff too easily. I forget about the person.”

  “Buying Ella that beautiful cowgirl hat in the exact shade of purple she loves was clearly thinking about the person.” Mandy’s smile made her eyes look darker, like emeralds that held secrets. “The purple cowboy boots were too much though,” she chided. “They’re gorgeous, but her feet are growing so fast now that she likely won’t even get a year out of them.”

  “So she’ll give them to some other kid and I’ll buy her another pair,” he said with a shrug.

  “You won’t be here.” From the way she said it, he knew Mandy hated reminding him of that.

  “Maybe I could—” Drew never finished because two cars drove into the yard and squealing children emerged, chanting “Happy Birthday” as they raced over to Ella, who proudly showed them her new bicycle. “Showtime.” He rose, clapped his hat on his head, stepped down and then paused. “You okay here for a while?”

  “Yes, thank you. If I need help, Trina’s just inside,” she said.

  “Then it’s time for me to get Oliver into that clown outfit.” Drew snickered at her surprise. “You didn’t know he used to do that at kids’ parties to raise money for college?” He shook his head and added teasingly, “I thought you knew everything about everyone who worked here, Mandy.”

  I don’t know everything about you anymore. I wish I did.

  Drew repressed the wayward thought to focus on his daughter and the five children she’d wanted to host for her birthday.

  He’d left the bottom step when he heard Mandy murmur, “Focus on the beautiful things. Let go of what you can’t have.”

  He headed for the bouncy house to check its moorings, wondering what Mandy couldn’t have. If he knew, maybe he could get it for her.

  That’s not your responsibility. Anyway, you’re no good at responsibility.

  Drew really wished he was, because it was suddenly very important that Mandy, who continually worked to make the world right for others, was also happy. He wanted to hear her carefree laugh ring out, to see those shadows leave her eyes so she’d be unafraid to rush into life as she once had.

  Frustrated by his thoughts, he ordered his brain to stop thinking about Mandy and their shared past.

  Easier said than done.

  * * *

  “I’m exhausted,” Drew muttered to Oliver as they watched Ella blow out the candles on her cake.

  “They’ll probably all be gone in about half an hour,” Oliver encouraged. “You can last that long, old man.” He peered at the cake. “Why’d you give her a cake that’s a house?”

  “Ella mentioned wanting a playhouse cake before she went to camp, so I made one just in case. When she came back, she couldn’t make up her mind until I showed her what I’d done. Doesn’t it look right?” he asked anxiously, hoping that his prayers and God’s promise to be there when needed had come together in a cake his daughter would remember.

  Drew knew he was taking baby steps in this whole trust thing.

  “Looks amazing with those turrets and stairs and chimneys. Quite artistic.” Oliver suddenly paused. “I am so dumb,” he said, smacking his hand against his forehead. “That’s what
you were drawing plans for every time we had a break.”

  “Actually, I asked a local guy to build it for her,” Drew explained. “I’m not a very good carpenter. I only hope they’ll get it out here for her to see before I leave.”

  “When will that be?”

  “Not sure yet. I should know more tomorrow, after I see Bonnie and Ben.” The whisper of late afternoon wind ruffled Ella’s hair as she huffed out the last candle.

  “I want a he-uge piece, please, Trina,” Ella sang out. “For Mama. ’Cause I love her the mostest.” She blew her mom a kiss and caught the returning one.

  Before the kids had come to the table, Drew had set up a lawn chair and a little table. Then he carried Mandy there. Now she sat in the shade, near the kids, watching everything and taking pictures with her phone.

  “We always put pictures in our beautiful things book,” Ella had explained to Drew earlier. “So we don’t forget.”

  Would they put a picture of him in there, he wondered? Even if they did, he doubted Mandy would leave it there for very long. She’d changed since she’d hurt her foot. Though she’d always been friendly, encouraging and cooperative, Mandy now didn’t give away her emotions as easily as she once had. She wasn’t sharing her thoughts either.

  Even weeding Bonnie’s precious garden, which had taken hours Drew should have spent doing his own work and left him with a backache and zillions of insect bites, hadn’t brought more than a polite thank-you from Mandy. Nor had getting the calves branded, something she’d worried over incessantly until he’d told her it was done. She’d readily thanked him, but it sounded too civil, too—dutiful?

  A barrier lay between them, one she’d deliberately erected, one he wasn’t sure how to get past.

  “Here’s your cake, Drew. An’ some for Oliver.” Ella held out two plates heaped with cake and ice cream. “I love you.” She grinned at them before scampering back to the table.

  “She’ll love your playhouse, too,” Oliver said as they sat on the grass and savored their treat.